You don’t get to hate yourself all the way to anywhere good.
Not to thinness.
Not to love.
Not to wealth.
Not to that cabin by the lake.
Not down the aisle.
Not into retirement.
Not on to the dance floor.
To get where you’re going, you have to treat yourself like a human being, like, wait for it … A FRIEND.
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Watch your mind. Catch the words you say to yourself when no one is watching and especially when you’re not paying attention.
“I shouldn’t do that…”
“I wish I didn’t jiggle there…”
“I hate that I do that…”
“I am sick of being this way…”
We are so good at the internal hate monologue we barely even know it’s there.
I know you don’t think it’s optional, because it feels like TRUTH.
I know you believe that you have to keep it together and holding on for dear life does feel like you’re doing something.
You absolutely are. It just isn’t helping.
I know that what I’m saying sounds like a woo woo breeze over your reality, but stick with me here. Emotions are the fuel for our lives.
They are the gas that powers you through the day. It’s not your food, or your schedule, or other people’s expectations – it’s your feelings!
Are you motivated by fear of what might happen or are you motivated by the desire to create.
(I realize I have said this before, but I’m saying it again because it’s important.)
No, I don’t mean you’re an artist and you need to paint. I mean your life is a creation – you got yourself here. You’ll get yourself where you are going, and you choose the fuel to do that!
What I am asking is what is the feeling of this place, what are the results you are creating by the thoughts you are thinking?
That’s it. You nail that, you nail EVERYTHING!
So let’s try it.
Think about the size of your jeans.
What is the first thought that popped into your head? (I’ll use an example, follow along inserting your answers.)
Thought: “I shouldn’t be up a size.”
Now, how did that thought, or your thought, make you feel? (1 word, emotion – not a sentence.)
Feeling: Embarrassed
When you feel ___(Embarrassed)___ how are you likely to act, what do you do?
Action: Hide, disengage
And when you take that action (or your action) what result do you get?
Result: I believe it, I believe I shouldn’t be up a size. When I feel embarrassed and hide, guess what I want to do… Yeah, eat! Shoot…
So there are times where what we are thinking is creating more of the same. In fact, that is all the time! So, if you’re thinking things that make you want to hide, you’ll get more hiding and all that comes along with hiding (judgement, binging, Grey’s Anatomy)…
If you’re thinking things that bring more expansiveness, you’ll get that.
Let’s try that one:
Circumstance: Size X Jeans
Thought: I love denim. (if thoughts are optional, think one you believe and like!!)
Feeling: Pleased
Action: Wear my jeans
Result: I am enjoying the denim and wearing clothes – out and in my life.
Win, win!
So that was super basic and I know it can be hard to follow – I still mess these things up and I’ve been at it for years! If you want to change the fuel you’re running on, comment and tell me the one thing you wish you could change. I’d love to help!
Caryn
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Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash